OSHTT – Fly the stupid skies

Posted: 2014/09/02 in Okay...so here's the thing...

As if to spite Thorsten Veblen, airline seating practices were apparently devised by Thurston Howell III.

Here’s how to fix the aeronautical equivalent of road rage (aero rage?):

  1. Abandon, in favor of common sense, the current “conspicuous consumption” policies of seating, namely, that money equals virtue equals proximity to the pilot equals getting to board first.  (Airlines will object that this is will cut into their profits, as if making air travel suck less won’t encourage people to fly more.)
  2. Analyze the length and (ahem) width of the customer population, install a proportionate number of seats that accommodate them, and assign seats based on those measures. One size doesn’t fit all.
  3. Speed up boarding by letting those who are assigned the “back” rows board first, so as to minimize the bumping and grinding of getting settled into one’s seat.

Okay, so here’s the thing — rail all you want about the loss of civility in American society, these almost daily incidents of inside-the-plane turbulence wouldn’t occur at all but for the customer disservice of the airline industry itself:

  • commoditizing simple amenities that traditionally were creature comforts that made for the common ambience,
  • treating passengers, not as guests, but as cargo that loads and unloads itself, and most importantly,
  • for packing an ever-increasing amount of cargo into the available space, without regard for whether each parcel fits in the assigned container.  No wonder some reach the breaking point.

 

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