Trump must be injecting himself with Lysol because he Lysol the time!
Archive for the ‘Fuster-cluck-of-the-day’ Category
Time to start calling it the MORONavirus
Posted: 2020/04/24 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Random acts of stupidityBull is bull!
Posted: 2020/04/13 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Jes' plain ignernt, Okay...so here's the thing..., Random acts of stupidityI just gained an additional hour of productive time each week! I turned off the TV show “Bull” on CBS. And, although I hadn’t missed an episode up to this point, I won’t be turning it back on.
In the first 15 minutes of the show, entitled “The Sovereigns,” both a federal judge and a state judge (who’s actually the defendant in this week’s case) committed the unforgiveable faux pas of pronouncing the term “PERemptory challenge” as “PREemptory challenge.”
It’s bad enough that some tin-eared ignoramus may have written it that way in the script, but for NOT ONE person in the cast or among the many producers, directors and consultants to correct such egregious buffoonery before it could make its way onto tape is utterly inexcusable. If that’s not contempt of court I don’t know what is.
It’s just a laughably inept error to anyone who’s ever been professionally involved in jury trials. Case closed. It’s like a neurosurgeon calling the cerebrum the cherubim.
What’s next? Judge Pigmeat Markham presiding?
Nolo comprehendere
Posted: 2020/03/05 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Random acts of stupidity, Stupid politicsSuper Tuesday night in California Joe Biden took a victory lap.
He quoted Robert Browning, “..a man’s reach should exceed his grasp…”
And then his train of thought jumped the track.
He boomed, “We can grasp whatever we can reach!”
Yeeeaaahhhh . . . Really poor choice of words there, Joe. Way too much reachin’ and graspin’ already. Stop reminding us.
The Hillary-ous demise of the Warren campaign
Posted: 2020/03/03 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Stupid politicsOnly it’s not funny. It comes down to the meltdown we’ve seen twice before: either
(a) she was unable to surround herself with a team of competent advisors and managers, or
(b) she did surround herself with a team of competent advisors and managers and she just didn’t listen to them.
Either one is disqualifying.
Where did it all go so wrong?
Medicare-free-for-all. She should have differentiated her health care plan from Bernie’s, which she never did (same plan, but with footnotes). And she should have gone on the offensive with those who said people can keep their current plans if they want: “They can promise that, but they can’t guarantee it. Let’s be real: What if half the people on a private plan decide they like the public option better? Can the private plan survive? Probably not.”
Image. She just didn’t exude presidential-ness. Didn’t anybody tell her, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have?” She always looks like the junior girls’ P.E. teacher who just rushed onto the stage at the last minute because the dodgeball tournament ran overtime. Male or female candidate for higher office, a stylist is not a frivolous expenditure. If Nixon had had one in 1968, JFK might have lived to a ripe old age.
On the plus side, she did the party a great service by pulling the plug on Michael Bloomberg’s self-driving hovercraft. Pfffffttt.
Is it too late to salvage her campaign? Maybe be the compromise nominee if no one has the magic 1991? Maybe toss her delegates to the one she wants to crown? It’s still kinda early. Maybe.
Suborning fake news
Posted: 2019/11/20 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Okay...so here's the thing..., Stupid politicsGordon Sondland corrected his questioners a few times today – other times he didn’t – when they spoke of Trump wanting investigations [of Burisma/Biden/Crowdstrike]. He wanted people to understand that the requirement for the release of aid and the Oval Office meeting was for an announcement of investigations.
Why is that distinction important? Because that’s all Trump wanted: a big fat lie, on video, from Ukraine’s shiny new anti-corruption, reformist president. A video Trump could play over and over. To smear Joe Biden. To exonerate Vladimir Putin. To find out that Zelensky was a pushover in case Trump ever needed to use him again.
Oh, hell no! Trump didn’t want a real investigation! What if there really was an investigation and Zelensky had to announce it didn’t find anything? That would be kinda messy to explain…
But an announcement of an investigation that never takes place means Trump can keep proclaiming, “The investigation is a huge success but it’s still ongoing, so nothing specific can be disclosed yet.” That’s Trump gold!
Even if it’s fake gold. Fool’s gold. Hey, whatever it takes!
Even if you have to bribe another country’s president with military aid passed in good faith by both houses and both parties in Congress. Even if that country’s in the middle of a border war. Even if that border war is with… Well, you get the idea.
Republican lawyer strategy
Posted: 2019/11/14 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Stupid criminals, Stupid politicsMAGA Hatter, let’s suppose your wife and kids want you dead. Yeah, I know, how could anybody even think such a thing! But maybe they’re secretly brainwashed Democrats. The wife tells the kids, “I know someone who’ll do the deed. I want you to go to him and make the deal.”
They do, and to close the deal, she calls the hit man and asks the pre-arranged question, “You’re going to do me that favor, right?” And the hit man gives the pre-arranged answer, “I’ll see what I can do.”
But some people overheard the kids negotiating with the hit man on her behalf and went to the police, who then tapped your wife’s phone.
So now the wife and kids are on trial. The witnesses all tell the same story. The prosecutor plays the phone call. The hit man says sure he was on the phone call, but he understood it to be about something else.
And the best defense the wife’s lawyer can come up with is, “She didn’t say anything about a murder contract in the phone call – it was perfectly innocent. And besides, even if she did plan to pay him to kill the old boy, he’s still alive, therefore no crime was ever actually committed. This trial is a sham! The real criminals are the 10 people who made up this story and the cops who investigated it.”
Well, Mr. Hatter, you’d better hope those jurors aren’t your peers (i.e., as dumb as you are), or your wife and kids are gonna be back home in your big white house tomorrow and for years to come.
For the second tier of Democratic candidates the path to the nomination runs through (over?) Joe Biden.
Take Kamala Harris. (Yes, please.) Here’s the Washington Post‘s lead the day after round 2 of the debates: “Sen. Kamala D. Harris (D-Calif.) was the big winner of the first set of Democratic primary debates. She went into June polling at about 7 percent; she emerged at better than double that mark.”
REALLY?! She went from not having the support of 93% of Democrats to not having the support of 85% of them. Stand back! It’s a landslide!
The only thing that’s interesting about the Democratic debates is trying to figure out which candidates are auditioning for the nomination to a third (or fourth) party ticket.
The ones who are trying to “out-freedom” the regular Democrats are clearly vying for a spot on the Libertarian Party ballot.
The ones who are crying “socialist” and “radical” have the delusion a tsunami of public opinion will propel them to lead a new centrist Macaroni-and-Cheese Party.
And the other also-rans are simply hoping for a cabinet appointment in a Democratic administration. And failing that, a book deal. Any book deal. O God, please, a book deal.
And thanks to CNN’s incisive journalism – “Did you hear what she said about you? Go ahead – say it again, say it to his face.” – the turnout for junior high school straw polls will soar to record highs.
Because that’s the real news America wants, not that melodramatic stuff about a proto-fascist President propped up by a proto-fascist propaganda empire.
Anything but the elephant in the room.
As a pediatric neurosurgeon Ben Carson became famous for operating on little brains. As a politician he maintains that distinction.
“Rumsfeld fallacy” haunts Clinton again
Posted: 2015/10/20 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Stupid politicsJust as was done with the Iraq war, the absence of incriminating evidence regarding either Benghazi or her emails is being spun as “we know Clinton broke the law, and the difficulty of proving it just shows how fiendishly secretive and clever she is.”
As previously described here, but for three little words Hillary Clinton would now be in the final year of her second term as President, Senator Barack Obama would be the front-runner for his party’s nomination to succeed her, and Vice-President Joe Biden would still be equivocating on whether to throw his hat in the ring.
Clinton’s initial White House bid was done in by her failure to expose and reject what I call the Rumsfeld fallacy: To justify going to war in Iraq, Rumsfeld spun “the absence of evidence [of WMD] is not evidence of absence” into “the absence of evidence is proof of their existence.”
The Rumsfeld fallacy again haunts Clinton’s candidacy. In fact, it’s the very core of the GOP’s war on Hillary herself.
And just as with the run-up to the war in Iraq, the continued absence of evidence allows the GOP to keep their slanderous narrative alive in perpetuity.
If only her handlers could coach her along these lines:
- “When I became Secretary of State, I’d known for 15 years that there’s no such thing as secure email. In the early 1990’s when email was becoming widely available, all my tech-savvy friends told me, ‘Don’t EVER put anything in an email you don’t want to see on the front page of The New York Times — once you hit Send, you relinquish all control over what happens to anything you’ve written.’ I didn’t forget that while I was First Lady, a private citizen, or Senator. And I especially didn’t forget it when I became Secretary of State.”
- “Regardless of how insecure you think my personal email server was, there’s been no evidence at all that the State Department’s email system was any more secure. Not a week goes by that we don’t hear about government and private corporations’ servers being hacked. Congressman, how do you know your own server hasn’t been hacked and you just don’t know about it yet? The truth is, you don’t.”
- “You know you’re not going to find a smoking gun because there isn’t one. I know you don’t want honest answers, and you’re not going to give honest answers to the American people because then you’d have to stop these ridiculous sideshows.”
- “When is this committee going to declare, ‘We looked everywhere and we didn’t find anything, so we can only conclude there’s nothing to be found?’ That’s never going to happen, is it?”
Here’s what neither side in this unholy inquisition can come right out and say:
Suppose the ambassador and his team had all survived and recovered from the attack. Here’s how he would have been interviewed:
“Libya was in a state of total anarchy. Benghazi, the second largest city, was a vipers’ nest of militias, terrorists, spies, and double agents. And you decided the anniversary of 9/11 would be a good time to go there with a security force that would fit in an SUV, with a seat or two left over. What were you thinking?“
If the Republicans say this, it exculpates Clinton and the Obama administration, so that would be game-over for them.
If Clinton and the Democrats even hint at it, they know they’ll be eviscerated for “blaming the victim” and “slandering the memory of a fallen colleague.”
And if the media say this, they’ll be caught in the crossfire from both sides.
But someone has to say it: the ambassador himself made a fatal and tragic mistake. (This is not a case of hindsight being 20/20.)
If there’s been a cover-up of anything, it’s to the credit and honor of Clinton and the administration that this was what they covered up.
Middle East piece
Posted: 2015/09/12 in Fuster-cluck-of-the-day, Okay...so here's the thing..., Stupid politicsPols and pundits complain the U.S. has no Middle East policy. That’s just not true.
America’s foreign policy toward the Middle East is the same as everyone else’s:
The frenemy of my frenemy is my frenemy.